One weird trick

Help to help, because we’re built to help.

They say you should manage down. You’re supposed to manage the people who work for you. For many people who become leads, it’s the toughest and least satisfying part of the job. This is especially true for people who become leads primarily because they’ve been on the job longer than the people around them—not because they had a management jones to satisfy.

They also say you should manage up—subtly assert control of the people you work for. Help them stop short of a bad idea and find their way to a better one. If you can manage up without being obvious about it, you just might save your job, your boss’s job, and your team’s work. 

And yet—

Management goes only so far.

The pains of managing up and down are better than the pains of not being able to manage at all. Further, if you swear by managing up or down, I’m not here to discredit you, nor would I dream of doing so, nor would I have cause.

But I am here today to ask you to also try thinking a different way.

Do keep helping people, whether you work for them, work with them, or they work for you.

But don’t think of it as managing them.

Think of it as helping a colleague, just as you’d help a friend, a family member, or (when you’re at your best, and when it’s safe) a stranger.

Help to help, because we’re built to help. We feel better when we do it.

Life is not a contest. At least, it doesn’t need to be chiefly or primarily a contest. If you request feedback and I provide it, what counts is that it helps you. Same when I ask for your help. My position versus yours within this particular hierarchy doesn’t matter. The ideas matter. And the best idea can come from anyone.

Hierarchy matters at times, sure. But not most of the time. Most of the time what matters is showing up, doing your work, and helping others do theirs. 

Have a better day!

4 responses to “One weird trick”

  1. Michael J. Nolan Avatar
    Michael J. Nolan

    Sage advice. My time of managing a team of 12 graphic designers and reporting to a team of megalomaniacs was genuinely hellish.

  2. Eric Avatar
    Eric

    Love this one

  3. Kathy Keller Avatar
    Kathy Keller

    Great advice, Z. Folks need a gentle reminder to be aware of how they approach others. It’s for everyone’s benefit.

  4. Fiddle bops Avatar

    Managing people—what a tricky business! Zeldman offers some fascinating insights on handling those above and below you in the workplace hierarchy. It’s both enlightening and daunting, as many stumble through leadership not by choice but by circumstance. I wonder if there’s an easier way to navigate this chaos?

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