She’s the Boss.

She is not here to eat. She is here to ensure my compliance.

Don’t let the smooth face fool ya! Snow White, a gentle white kitty, pauses in a doorway.


SNOW WHITE is my jailer. She reclines near me while I work, watching closely for the moment I stand up. The instant I leave my desk, she directs me to her feeding area so I can open another can of cat food and arrange its contents neatly on a plate. She’ll eat a few bites, then walk away and resume her post by my desk.

She is not here to eat. She is here to ensure my compliance.

The uneaten remainder dries out on the floor; two hours from now, I’ll throw it away and open a new can with a different flavor.

I’m vegetarian because I love animals. But as Snow White’s feeder, I’m responsible for the useless deaths of countless chickens, cows, and fish whose pulverized remains I’ve offered to Snow White and she has nibbled, then ostentatiously wasted, to prove to me over and over which one of us is in control.

3 responses to “She’s the Boss.”

  1. Davezilla Avatar

    Our three cats are similar. I open one can for the 3 of them to split and they eat dry food the rest of the day. They have decided that salmon, duck, and turkey are beneath them, not even worthy of a lick. They just sniff it, stare at me in unison with venom and utter contempt in their eyes, and demand I put the Cat TV YouTube channel on the family TV. Spoiled? Them?

    1. L. Jeffrey Zeldman Avatar

      I am familiar with that look of contempt. Thanks for sharing! I love this story.

  2. onli Avatar

    To be compleely unfunny, and just because I didn’t realize that for years: Such behaviour is just a habit. Cats can be quite happy when being fed a set amount of food on specific times. They eat properly then, waste less. Having a machine for most of those times (3 of 4, at night they get canned food once, opened manually) was a nice life quality upgrade for me.

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