Category: glamorous
My Glamorous Life
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Icon: For Love of Barbie
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It’s a process
After finishing her late-night snack, she left the empty bowl beside her in the bed “for Emile’s spirit to nibble on.”
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Choose Death
When I returned from Boston, my little white dog was much sicker. It’s the lungs. There’s a constant honking gasp, except when he’s sleeping. The doctors said this would happen, they just didn’t say when.…
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Boston Bound
Morning finds me bound by train for Boston, capital of Massachusetts, land of Puritans, patriots, and host of the original Tea Party. Center of high technology and higher education. Where the John Hancock Tower signs…
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Web Design and Fitness
Three times a week I work out hard with a trainer at a gym. It’s like sex. I don’t mean it feels good. On the contrary, it hurts. And I don’t mean there’s cuddling after.…
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Life is Beautiful
I haven’t slept. For much of last night, my daughter Ava cried out in her sleep with nightmares. Eventually her cries would wake us both. Instead of going back to sleep, Ava would chat with…
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Letter to My Trainer
Dear Hannah: I am having my second major gout outbreak since I was diagnosed with the disease two years ago. An angry red ball filled with uric acid has disfigured my right toe, pushing it…
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Get a real guitar, hippie
As seen on Flickr.
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My glamorous life
My small old shi’zu watches intently as I embed the five pills that keep him alive in little balls of hypoallergenic canned food—a process that takes five minutes and must be repeated three times a…
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Sleep never sleeps
Dreamed my parents were getting divorced. I’d be asking my momma why, and she would turn into my wife. The conscious mind deals with what is in front of you, the unconscious processes what has…
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The dog ate my bookmarks
It’s been years (or is it weeks?) since something odd, implausible, and inexplicable happened to one or more of my Apple computers that doesn’t happen to anyone else’s. You know you want to hear this.…
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Only in dreams
I dreamed about you again last night. I guess it will pass.
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Crowdsourcing Dickens
As an experiment in new new media thinking, I recently crowdsourced a new new literature version of Charles Dickens’s musty old old old lit chestnut, Great Expectations—the familiar tale of Pip, Ms Havisham, the convict…
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The First Time
A friend’s young son had just used the toilet and wiped himself for the first time. She congratulated him on being a big boy. To which he replied: “Mother. Surely you don’t expect me to…
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Quack
I dreamed that my friend R__ turned into a giant, invisible duck. His only hope lay with a mystical lady doctor. While she worked on a magical cure, he stayed hidden in a small safe…