Category: glamorous
My Glamorous Life
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Response to an anonymous note left on my apartment door, complaining of noise.
Dear Neighbors: While my ex-wife is in treatment for a serious illness, I am watching her two small young dogs. They get along well with my two cats and soothe my young daughter during her…
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And now for something completely different
IN THESE PAGES I have written on many subjects, but I never expected my ass to be one of them. The untimely passing last year of Hillman Curtis changed that. Hillman was a friend, an…
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Worst Snow Ever
WORST snow ever. If you are eight and want to play. Because it has already melted. Climate change, you suck the Charlie Brown out of this world.
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The Theme Line of Dr Moreau
I DREAMED I was designing an identity system for the mad scientist Dr Moreau, who kept changing his ridiculously long theme line after I’d arranged the type. “No, no, no! I’m not saving life, I’m…
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Red All Over
ALL I REMEMBER from my dream is flushing a red towel down the toilet. It was evidence of some crime. There was a moment of horror, midway through, when it seemed that the towel would…
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To Leiden, To Leiden
THEY’RE SLEEPING in New York. They’re sleeping all over the world. Even here in Leiden, The Netherlands, they’re still mumbling and drooling in their beds. But not me. I’m awake and packing for my return…
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Two New Yorks
I MOVED to Manhattan during the crack epidemic of 1988. The heroin epidemic of the early 1970s produced CBGB, Studio 54, punk rock and hip hop. The crack epidemic produced crack addicts. If we complained…
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Après le déluge
TODAY MY DAUGHTER and I brushed our teeth with real, running water. It was heaven. Hurricane Sandy killed people and destroyed homes in New York and New Jersey. As a sideline, it left everyone in…
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That Brooklyn Thing
THE YEAR Brooklyn Beta opened, a misunderstanding and a coincidentally timed paying gig prevented me from attending. The following year, two paying gigs, scheduled back to back, kept me away. This year was going to…
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A Parental Dilemma
MY DAUGHTER has been talking about her eighth birthday party since she was seven and a half. It will be a small party, on a Saturday at noon, with just her closest friends. Last night…
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My 9/11
AS I OFTEN do on this day, I here post a link to my story of Sept. 11, 2001 in New York, one of nine million stories from that day: zeldman.com/glamorous/54.shtml My story is not…
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My mind and welcome to it
IN MY DREAM I was designing sublime new publishing and social platforms, incandescent with features no one had ever thought of, but everybody wanted. One of my platforms generated pages that were like a strangely…
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Divorce never sleeps
SO THE EX just moved to Manhattan’s most iconic private housing community. It is a large residential complex of oversized, renovated apartments set in an 80-acre private park. The sprawling collection of red brick buildings…
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A plane crash in slow-mo
I WAS SOBER SIX MONTHS when my Uncle George took me to lunch and told me he believed his sister, my mother, had Alzheimers. She was 60. Via frequent short visits to Pittsburgh and more…
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My Glamorous Life: Lucy Ricardo, C’est Moi
TRYING A NEW breakfast place. I tell the cashier, “Extra crispy bacon.” “Extra bacon,” she says. “No, not extra bacon. Extra crispy bacon,” I say. A fast-paced volley of shouted Spanish follows, between the cook,…